A bad night

This has not been a good night, simply because many things have not gone so good. Our copies were not ready, our songs did not sound as well as possible tonight, Gera was upset and me too, and I could not stay close to her, just because I did not want to do something bad to her. And, tired and felling seriously angry, I had to walk from "La Soledad" to my home.

When I came to the church, Gera told me that the copies were not ready, "within these days" the priest had told him. Well, what can we do about it, just wait. Maybe next Sunday our songs will be sing by all the young in the mass... maybe not... who knows. At this moment I really do not care.

Then, since the entrance song our voices were... turned off (in a manner to say it) I do not understand why. I mean, during the practice our voice sounds good, in volume, intonation, etc. But in the mass, when we have to do our best, the voice blows up... or I do not know. It is awful. Gera got angry... obviously.

When the mass finished I was too angry... and I went directly to our meeting place (we had to plan the May 10th. tour) But I did not want to hurt anybody: I know myself and I usually behave quite different when I'm upset: so I went to buy a bottle of water and a cigarette.... I smoke when something bad is going on around or inside me. It is a mania.

This is the same reason for not to be near her. (Who is her... I cannot tell you now, later) I regret now, because I had to be, to talk to her... you know. But I understand that it may not be the best choice. I hope she understands it.

There was practice after the mass, I had to stay, but I was not really comfortable, so I decided to leave after a song. I said good-bye and I realize that it was very late. I phoned home and I told my mom where I was; then I started walking... until home. I am tired, but more calmed.

I would like this not happen again, but I know me, and I will be angry once again... anyway. The show must go on. Whadda hell!!!